I have heard, read and watched endless stories on women who don’t dare speak up about their $exual needs not being met.
I bet most of you, if not all, have seen this perpetuated in pop culture.
Of course speaking up about needs is regardless of gender, but since women are generally more physiologically and emotionally complicated when it comes to intimate relations (men generally work from the ”crotch to the heart”, and women need to be opened in heart before the legs uncross), it is generally also more women who voice the issue.
But, they only voice it with each other. And even barley that.
Have you any idea how many women are losing out on immense pleasure because they’re too afraid to speak up??
Have you seen the percentage of women not having orgasms with partners (because not fully open, comfortable or warmed up), have you seen the statistics? If not, google it right now, after you click ”follow” on my Instagram 😉
For this, I encourage you to take 3 steps:
Step 1. Feel into; what is it that you want? What do you need, to be fully open $exualy? What would you like your partner(s) to do more, or less of? Write down if nessecary.
Step 2. Stop being afraid of the outcome, and take your responsebility for your own pleasure!
And no I don’t mean masturbate. But how can you expect your partner, ANYONE, to get it right if nobody ever speaks up? We can’t keep getting our inspo from p0rn.
Step 3: Tell them. Always. Even in the middle of things, if nessecary.
Express as vulnerable as can be, and if they take it personally, well, too bad for them.
IF they don’t like what you said and you can’t get along, there’s a step 4: go find someone else.
It is so worth it expressing how we feel, regardless of outcome!!
If we don't tell them what we want and need, not only are we ruining things for ourselves but also for them, for other women, and oh imagine when years in the future a lady finally says something to the man, oh the horror O_O
I remember my beloved getting so offended when I had expressed (several times) I wanted him to take his time, slow his breathing, and be more attentive with foreplay.
He was good at "getting the job done" but not much warmup. (I promised him to add this was a year ago!)
"I've been with so many women, and you're the only one that has ever complained!!" He said, raising his voice in frustration.
He was quite hurt, he felt insecure, but after swallowing his pride and actually started listening to my body, he is now the best lover I've ever been with.
I truly honestly believe that something that has made me so empowered as I am today, is knowing and owning my own $exuality! <3
Trust yourself and stand your ground, dare to get your $exual needs and desires met!
Love and dance